It’s a new year, a fresh start. We quit smoking, we promise to lose weight, work out, cut out the junk food. All healthy, reasonable changes. This year I’m tired. Tired of worrying about what my oldests future holds. Tired of worrying why my middle throws so many tantrums. Tired of worrying if my thirds lack of schedule is detrimental.
Many people describe me as laid back. And perhaps I am in many ways. But underneath it all I am a worry wart. Consistently worrying mostly about things I can’t control.
This new year I am pledging to myself and mostly to my kids to be more in the moment. Less worrying about when things will get done, if we’ll have enough money, if there’s enough time. I’ve recently become aware of how fast everything goes, how much changes. Soon enough these kids of mine won’t need me so much. Won’t need or want to touch me just to fall asleep. I promise to my kids, my husband, myself to respect and value each moment before I look back and it’s all gone.
I read somewhere to make 2017 the year of kindness. I am taking that as the year of kindness to those closest to me. More understanding, more respect. I refuse to look back at this time of my life and regret. So many wish for a big, beautiful family like mine and I will savor this. Because before I know it this will all be a memory and I am not ready for that just yet.